Dear Risha Aunty:

Happy Mother's Day! I wish you were here with us -- more so for Maham, than for me. I know how much she loves you and how much you love her. I'm not someone that's known to be helpless, but I am when it comes to Maham. I felt so bad last year in March of 2024 when she was crying for you, talking about you, and I remember I was with my own mother and we both heard how Maham said "I wish my mom was here right now to help me make a decision", and we felt so sad, and so bad about what was going on.

I hope you get my prayers and requests to God for sending you some sawab and good deeds - when I cook, or pray for you. I know you're up there cheering on your daughter and watching her along with all the other good people of history.

You would be so proud of her, especially in the past few months and year or so. she is so strong, so smart, and so beautiful. She recently became a doctor, just like you. Now, she probably won't be a gynae/obs like you, but I know for a fact that she can be a great doctor.

I have a lot of things to say, but I'll just say a few things: I just wanted to say that I love you and I wish you were here. I know that may sound a bit weird - I've never met you, and so forth, but I know for certain in my heart, I would have loved to sit down with you in my home - or yours, over a cup of tea, coffee, cola, whatever you preferred -- and just chit-chatted. I know I would have loved to accompany you in my free time - whether you were going for groceries, a walk, at the hospital, whatever. I have always believed in a genuine, sincere and warm+loving relationship between my in laws and I, and I am truly saddened at how bad the landscape is out there in this regard in our society.

I've never really written a letter to someone who has passed away, but I hope you get this letter and that you are happy with it. I hope you are happy with the way Maham is living her life and I hope you are happy and proud of the way I am taking care of her, as much as she lets me. I know I'm not perfect, and i am sorry for that. But I hope you have a beautiful view from up there, seeing what she can't.

If I wrote out how i feel about her, this page would have a very very very long scrollbar, and it would get longer and longer. She's my soulmate. I still remember when I first saw her - and you created that! How amazing aH. Her voice is the melody of my life, the soundtrack to my summer. Coolness in my eardrums. How she feels safe enough to behave like a little girl with me and fall asleep with me guarding and watching over her.

Lastly, i just wanted to say thank you for teaching me how to love someone who is not my own. Your daughter is a reflection and a dazzling decoration of atoms that were predestined through the universe to be perfectly arranged (minus the 'tism [i don't think she gets that from you =p] and EDS - that's a joke, haha) and passed down to her.

If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have met her. I wouldn't have loved her. so thank you - and please, watch over her. if you can, please put in a good word to God and whoever else that can help in the pursuit of halal marriage. I hope (and pray) that you would've approved. If you can give word to the mothers of her friends who are hopefully up there with you, try to work some magic so they can send signals to their daughters to positively influence Maham. I fear how bad the world is, how naiive she can be, and how much she needs to be protected. I know you are doing that, but I just wanted to say it out loud.

so, dera manana - you know, i would have probably called you 'aunty' or 'aunty risha' or something like that, but i don't know if that's appropriate. I hope you don't mind me calling you 'dear risha aunty' at the start of this letter. there's a surprise coming to FJMU one of these days, and i hope you will be proud of me when you see it from up there. it's something i have been wanting to do for you and your legacy and in your honor for a long time now.

See you when I see you - soon enough, inshAllah.

sincerely,
1

p.s - there's this amazing photo of Maham at Umrah with a beautiful kitty that she's holding. You would've loved it, just as much as i did, and probably way more haha

p.p.s - maham often talks about how peaceful medinah was, can you help me find a way to bring her more of that peace?